Delight

I was sitting at Panera yesterday killing some time before I had to go to Life group. I thought I would work on my personal ministry description for Haiti. There are four areas where I have to write what I want my goals to be : Personal, Language, Cultural Adaptation, Ministry (Teams/Partners). I love that Touch Global wants to tailor these positions to fit what I need/want and what they need/want. 

I sat there for a minute and tried to think about what my goals should be. I began to pray asking God what he wanted for me out of this time, both leading up to go and while I am there. But I felt stuck. I didnt quite know what else to pray. This is such an exciting time for me both personally and also in regards to this trip and there has been so much to do that sitting and asking God what he wanted was hard and I felt at a loss. 

Yesterday morning, as I read my daily list of blogs, I came across one of a young woman who has recently adopted two little girls from Africa. She writes this: 

As this beauty has unfolded, I’ve had to wonder if Jesus has been praying for me, His daughter – praying that my attachment to Him would be secure, that I would not respond to Him out of old wounds and habits, that God would build in me everything necessary to enjoy life as His daughter. I don’t know what God did to prepare my daughters’ hearts for me, but I wonder if this adoption – and so many other uncertain moments of my life – has been the deliberate and gracious action of a God who is building something new in me just as He is doing in my children (the two in my arms and the ones I don’t yet know). We’re still just inching our way towards healing over here and not every day is easy, but the road feels as if it has been paved by a God who delights in showing off just how much He can do when we stop to ask. I began to think about Jesus praying for me. The verses in Hebrews 7 came to mind:

²⁵ Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

²⁶ Such a high priest truly meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens.

Jesus is interceding for me before my Father. He knows what I need. He knows what work needs to be done in my heart. He knows the details that still need to be completed. And He has a work for me to do. 

He knows Me! 

And He is going before God on my behalf. 

The word Delight came to mind. One of my favorite verses has been, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you desires of your heart." The last few months God has shown how he delights in me through the love of others. And that is how I felt as I thought about Jesus praying for me. Delight.

I sat there imagining Jesus talking to God. About me. For me.

Telling him my fears. Asking that I be given joy and excitement.

Telling him my insecurities. Asking that I be filled with confidence in who He made me to be.

I imgained him laughing and shaking his head as his girl struggles, yet again, to trust. Asking that I would be given grace and faith to believe in who God is. 

And I imagined Jesus, with a huge smile on his face, telling God, "She did it! She finally took a step into what we put on her heart so long along."

I can say God loves me. I think I tend to think of God's love for me in a, he has to love me, like a parent has to love their kid, sense. But he doesnt just love me. 

HE DELIGHTS IN ME!

He longs for me to be more like him and he is going to the Father, asking that he smooth out the rough edges. That he heal the broken pieces. That he nuture and care for me as I try to be obedient. 

And even thought I dont have the words to pray at the moment. Even though I dont even know what I need. 

He does.

He is praying.